Greetings to all Jamaipanese.com readers! Iâ€™m Sachiyo Morimoto, aka Miss Chin, a Japanese author who resides in Jamaica since late last year. I am privileged to write a guest post for Jamaipanese.com today. Hear mi weh Miss Chin seh!
Last week, I wrote about the difference in priorities between Jamaicans and Japanese when we choose our mates. At that time, all the Jamaicans Iâ€™d spoke with said they value sex the most in romantic relationships. That situation seems to be changing though, as my poll survey at my blog (itâ€™s left top on my page) is starting to tell a different story. Since my first post on the issue, Iâ€™ve received some feedback from my Jamaican readers too. Some say they value different things other than sex. Some say they value sex. So it seems to not be as simple as I thought at first.
The General Japanese way of Thinking
Generally (but not all of them), Japanese tend to value a personâ€™s character and personality the most when we choose a mate. Click here to see the results of different surveys which were conducted in Japan and there is no one who answered â€œsexâ€. Its possible the reasons are;
- Japanese are not as sexual as Jamaicans.
- Japanese know we cannot have sex forever, or when we value sex the most, we might fall into the wrong kind of relationship.
Please note. Japanese also like sex and think sex is important, but at least it is not likely to become their top priority.
Imagine and Choose
Just imagine there are two men/women. â€œAâ€ is someone you can have a great sex with. But he/she doesnâ€™t fit you in terms of character and doesnâ€™t share similar values with you. So you are not so happy with him/her, except for when you have sex with him/her. Another is â€œBâ€, who is someone you can have a considerate good sex, but itâ€™s not like best or great. He/She has a great character and shares similar values with you. So you are happy and comfortable with the person most of the time. Which do you choose, â€œAâ€ or â€œBâ€, or â€œBOTHâ€?
The choices we make
I donâ€™t think we all have to live with one partner. If you want to live in an open relationship, thatâ€™s fine. Itâ€™s your choice, but remember, when you have multiple partners, you have to allow your partners to have multiple partners too. An old proverb states â€œWhat is good for the goose is good for the ganderâ€. More question surface, if you choose your partner in terms of sex, do you leave the person when he/she cannot satisfy your need? Or you try to find someone else beside your partner to satisfy your sexual need?
I hear many Jamaican men worry about their sexual performance. Well, we all care about it to some extent. But look how many tonics are there in Jamaica, which are said to stimulate your sexual performance. It seems that they value sex too much and they are choking their own necks!
When I think about the importance of sex in Jamaica, sometimes I wonder if itâ€™s because of its unstable social condition, historically unstable family structure and human relationships; people value sex with the knowledge that itâ€™s not forever, but to enjoy right now with this moment. Many Jamaicans might not believe there is something â€œforeverâ€ that is how I feel.
Yes, there is nothing â€œforeverâ€ or â€œeternalâ€ in this world. Itâ€™s the decision to maintain something for a long time, and it requires constant effort. So your priority in relationship seems to reflect your attitude towards life. What do you think?
I like to stick to â€œone-pot soup with one bannerâ€ kind of relationship, which needs a lot of cooking time but its taste become close to my taste eventually. I put many seasonings, vegetables, fish or meat in it, and stir, wait and enjoy the cooking. Sometimes I might add a little spice to season it up.
Share your opinion
Different people have different tastes. I know that Jamaipanese.com readers are from all over the world, but let me hear your opinion in the comments below. What do you value the most in a romantic relationship? If you are Jamaican, please vote in the poll on my website. Itâ€™s completely anonymous, and letâ€™s see the results together.
EDIT [ Oct 28 2009]
Hi, all! Thanks for your comments. I wrote a follow-up post on this topic. Please check my website by clicking here.
Note from Jamaipanese
I met Sachiyosan earlier this year and bought a copy of her book about gender and sexuality in Jamaica. Since then we have become good friends. She shares her experiences growing up in rural Japan and is always willing to answer my questions about Japanese culture or any Japan related matter. I am impressed by how approachable and honest she is and also do my best to answer any questions she has about Jamaica as she goes about her new life living and working here.